Monday, February 28, 2011

Glamorous Swimming!

Ok, two things:

1. I just got these new Speedo top of the line swim goggles. They are worth every bit of the $24 I paid for them at Dick's. I tend to be aggressive (go figure) when I kick off the wall and I know if I am too psycho I'll get water in my goggles. Well, not these. The seal is more graduated than most.

2. I'm gonna rock out a swim cap! No one looks good in them. It's a pin head feeling. I hate it!! So in an attempt to model my new goggles I said once again, screw it. I'm going to let my hair down! Remember, I am a honey badger and I really don't give a shit.


Here are the SPECS from Speedo's website I bought the mens goggles because the women's are either pink or baby blue. I tend to rebel when athletic companies give females overtly girly colors. The men's fit me fine too. They come with 3 nose pieces for adjustable lengths.

 Get your asses in the pool people!!


Friday, February 25, 2011

This Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit!

If you haven't seen this video you have to watch it. NOW! You'll cry/laugh!

Hysterical because my good running friend Dan sent it to me saying that's how I run. It's true. For example, today I was waking up and had a little extra espresso for 9oz total. Somewhere during ounces 4 and 8 I decided it would be a great idea to run 6 miles, do my ab ripper workout and then go swim for 45 minutes. As I was gimping through the last 10 minutes of my swim workout I kept thinking, "fuck it. This water is freezing but I'm a f'ing Honey badger and I don't give a shit!"

The 6 miles were slightly sub 7 pace. Only because Brian's leg was all numbed up from Biofreeze and his muscle was probably curling under.. But hey,  the dude doesn't go any slower, gotta take advantage! It was pouring and according to the wind was 22mph. I don't dispute that. It was a mud fest but actually a lot of fun. SEE FUN HERE.

So by the end I was soaked and filthy. Mud was up my back and in my hair. But whatever, (see blog title) I took my dirty ass to Gold's gym in the same soaked outfit and desecrated a clean mat with mud and sweat as I did ab ripper. Of course, it's times like these when your clean, hot friends come over to say hello. Shout out to Mark for making me feel not so dirty.

Then I went down to the locker room and changed into my suit.

My swim is always the same. 45 minutes of freestyle. No breaks and flip turns only. I wear a watch but can tell you when 44 minutes are up.  Without counting laps.

So I finished that and mixed a recovery drink and took my blackberry to the sauna. I knew I'd probably pass out so I layed down with my blackberry on my stomach. My plan was that when the blackberry got too hot and burned me I'd leave. But not before getting busted by some chic while taking an ab photo. DAMN IT!!

Good workout. Fun morning. The longest part was getting my shit together afterwards:

I can't wait until tomorrow!! Umstead!!

Later Dudes!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Laura's week 1 ab-alicious update

 You knew it was coming! I'm not gonna fold. I said I would do the stupid ab exercises. My intent is to have a stronger core for my next Half Marathon in a month. I hate it. It's not fun, but running fast is fun so I will continue. I tried to do the same lighting, same camera phone, but I'm not putting those jeans back on. Creepy vein is showing. Gag.

For the the record I eat mostly carbs to the tune of 2500-3500 a day. I'm sure I could bust out better abs if I cut the carbs. But what's the point? 

Baseline. No ab exercises.
1 week into ab-ripper X. or 1000 ab exercises later...  

Ok, enough complaining! This will take more than a week sweetcakes. Good job on week 1. 


Saturday, February 19, 2011

You can't catch this!

Ok, if you can catch me I know who you are and I'm preparing!! T - 30 days until the Wrightsville Beach Half Marathon. I also say this knowing registration is closed so don't get any funny ideas you fasties!

Another run down!! I did it!! Hell to the yeah!! This was my first long run with my *new* spiffy paces. Because my coach thinks I'm capable of more. HA. The paces were ok  but because I ran in yet another hurricane type wind situation I was very pleased.
Julian is a professional photo crasher!

I had 14 miles on deck for today and just didn't really feel like going back and forth on Raleigh greenway or killing myself in Umstead trying to keep sub 7 so I went to Wrightsville Beach, NC for some FLAT cruising. Also the location of my next half marathon:

I hit the streets at about 6:45 am with my room key, camera and a post it with my paces:

However, I am happy to report that I hit the paces despite being also hit by a cyclist and another runner. The cyclist wasn't looking up as he was coming towards me. I noticed it was going to be a tight squeeze with me against a gutter and fence. He looked up 5 feet ahead and said SHITTT/I'm sorry! We brushed sides pretty hard but I didn't fall. I was doing a 6:3X mile and only had GO on my mind. He coulda crashed his pack I didn't care...MUST GET SPLIT! As far as the runner. I was on a bridge with a pedestrian sidewalk and a rail. Big dude and fast chick throwin' elbows will get you some bounce. But I got the split!

 During my easy miles I was able to score some "RUNNER HARD ON PICS." I know you understand what I mean!

okay so I keep running getting the 7 middle miles around 6:35 pace. Here's the 2nd group of fast miles. Mile 2 was killed by wind. Think warrior pose. But I recovered quickly and kept going.

I'm pretty familiar with Wrightsville beach. I was able to end one set of splits here. That's entertainment for the cocky, anal retentive runner. lol

Next was utter despair! I finished my run with only 15 minutes left on the FREE BREAKFAST BUFFET. So I scrambled and made a quick decision. I went to the room and got my recovery drink and put on deodorant. Then I walked into the fancy breakfast with white linens and pretended I wasn't naked and stinky.
yup, sit up straight and pretend this is appropriate attire. Mind you I probably still had snot!

So all in all:

3 miles easy at 7:43 pace
3 miles faster at 6:32 pace
1 easy mile at 7:50 pace
4 faster at 6:38, 6:49, 6:35, 6:33
3 easy at 8:15 pace

Good day!! This ends a 42 mile week. YAY!!! Wait, actually no, I have 6 tomorrow. 48 miles!

Party on dudes

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
  to get Laura through this thing called: Ab Ripper X

Electric word life

It means forever (or 15 minutes 3x a week) and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u
There's something else:
A shredded 6 pack for the spring to go with my booty shorts.

I hope this will bring me a world of never ending happiness
I want to see my abs in 
the sun, day or night

In the event you are not a child of the 80's or lived under a rock during that time please stop following my blog. LOL. or jam out to the rest of  Let's Go crazy here

Dude, I hope you found that funny. I think it's hysterical!! Anyways, back to my abs or lack thereof:
custom made jeans for tattoo..see previous blog 

"Laura, you're gonna look ab-a-licious!"
I just ate hamburger helper chicken and I am not taking a new ab photo! So I used this one from earlier in the week. Remember tattoo jeans.  Well it clearly gets my point across. I'm not a huge muffin top type but I don't have the cross bars either. So I'm starting back with Ab Ripper X from the P90X series. Mostly because I have a HUGE crush on Tony but also because it works.

  So, I'll hopefully have some updates over the next few weeks. 

Later Dudes!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Boston Sch-moston I have a new outfit!

I know everyone is talking about the new Boston qualifying times and rules. I love the idea personally but than again I've never run a full. However, I'm just gonna throw it all out there, put it on the line and just say it: I have a new running outfit!! YES!! Hollaaaa!!!

This took WAY too many takes!

Hell to the ya!! Word to your mutha! The weather is breaking and booty shorts are BACK with a vengeance!! 

I love this new Nike Pro Combat line. I don't care how cold it is tomorrow at 7:45am Imma wearing this!

Thank you RALEIGH RUNNING OUTFITTERS!! Jim you rock!! I'm so excited for spring running now! Wooohooo!

ok, that's all.

Party on & peace out

Saturday, February 12, 2011

14 miler WITH tattoo ***update***

Today I ran 14 sweet miles in Umstead with Brian and Dan. Dan turned back early to go to work but love that he made it out!! The chicken clucking made my day! 

I hate to dwell on the tat issue but it seriously cramped my style today. I had to wear booty shorts rolled down 3x at the waist so I didn't kill the tat. It was 27 degrees!
okay not this short but you get it!
Those who saw me are hereby sworn to secrecy! My tat is still swollen and sore. Or that's my excuse for the fat ass! When I ran I could feel the right side of my ass shake. DISLIKE!

But 14 miles and 1100 feet of elevation later I am happy to report I am, okay. For those not familiar with Umstead Park. This is a good picture of a wimpy hill in the park:
This photo was taken from my friend's blog: Running Down

The Turkey Creek portion of Umstead is about a 5 mile loop of this type of elevation. It's rolling except for the 5 hills that are so steep you could lean against them. It was so cold early on I really couldn't feel my quads to dig into the hills. I guess this outfit didn't cut it.

I'll never learn! But I did see my Umstead bff Joey Anderson so I forgot about my misery for a few seconds.

Overall, a great run. Here's my garmin link. 14.11 miles in 1:41 at a 7:12 pace.

As for the tat. This is day 2. I think I'm entering the crusty stage though..not so pretty...

Well peace out dudes

Friday, February 11, 2011

Run, swim, tattoo?? Sure!

I'm laying here pouting because the tattoo I got last night hurts so bad I can barely sit, forget run. And swimming is off for 2 weeks. I kinda figured this would happen so I ran a few extra miles earlier in the week.

I feel so creative that I altered these jeans!  I cut off the waist so my tat isn't disturbed.

This is a redo of an old tattoo I got when I was 18. Being that I'm not going anywhere I figured I'd blog about it...ho hum...

I am a researcher my nature. I research and perseverate. That's what I do. I enjoy it. So I found a great tattoo shop named Blue Flame Tattoo and specifically a girl named Annie to redo my sun. I waited 4 months just for the consult. I finally arrived for my appointment and Annie informs me that her parents in Germany are sick and she is leaving the country asap. Apparently, they called everyone but me. I was soooo sad. I waited forever and now I was back to square one. However, as a kick ass courtesy Blue Flame offered me another artist and an immediate appointment. Happy again! So, A super nice, talented guy named Colby fit me in 2 days later staying until 9pm. Yay Colby! I researched Colby and could probably tell you his social by the time I sat my ass down on his chair.

This is actually a completely inaccurate representation of everything! I have no idea why I look uh, happy? and also I'm not that muscular! WTF!

Anyways, the actual tattoo itself hurt like a mother. But I felt so bad that Colby stayed late that I sucked it up and said I was fine. I am not a really fat person in that area so I could feel it like he was cutting bone. When he did the part closer to my spine I could tell. I think the best way to describe it is to think of the electric knife that our parents used back in the day to carve the thanksgiving turkey. That is what it feels like!

So, now I am thinking of the next tat. It is addicting! I had the original tattoo done at Tattoo's by Lou on South Beach in Miami. Apparently, most of those artists went on to work for Miami Ink. A tattoo shop and show on TLC. So the guys at Blue Flame think they know which dude did my tat back then. A now famous artist.  Kinda cool how they can recognize each others work.

Well, I just hope the pain and swelling goes down by tomorrow so I can do my long run in Umstead. I am so happy with the redo!! Woohooo!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Finally my legs aren't crap.

This is my first okay feeling run post half marathon 4 days ago. Although I wasn't 100% because last night I did an OCD style swim at 9pm. I never swim at night. Or the night before any run really. But I am getting a tattoo today. I was reading the aftercare instructions last night and it said no pool for 2 weeks. After my panic dissipated my ass was in the pool an hour later pumping out freestyle like I was Michael Phelps with 2 red bulls in him. Mission accomplished. Sore arms. I'm happy.

I ran 7 miles in my usual weekday area. It's either uphill or downhill. Very little flat. I try to keep my effort level constant but it's usually dictated by what's on my ipod shuffle. I also have this addiction to showing off for stopped traffic. I don't know where it came from. But I like to ham it up and run faster and with better form when I have a captive audience. Hey, it works for me. I need entertainment when I run alone. There is something about the look in their eyes as they sip coffee or shove a mcmuffin down their throats. I like that look. Call me crazy...

Here's my garmin. I had no intentions for pace. Turned out to be 7:02 overall. Which around mile 6 started to annoy me. I should have tried to get it under 7 pace. or run 8. Oh well, gotta go get my tat.

Cheers friends.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Well, I just finished the 1st annual Heart and Sole Half Marathon in Goldsboro, NC. This is my 2nd Half Marathon. My goal was to break 90. I did 1:28:05 which included an arms extended airplane finish across the mats. I'm sure I lost time there. lol but I was soooo freakin bored!! I was dying for entertainment. I ran alone most of the race. And somehow managed to swear a lot.

I was on facebook at 4am today ranting on how I'd rip my car tags off if I didn't break 90. I was ready, mentally! However, my body was kinda dead. Last week I spent a lot of time skiing and running. I never recovered fully. I was just so tired. Even yesterday morning I had to pull over to a Panera parking lot and take a nap at 8:30am!! I had a 9am hair appt so it worked.

So, I was tired. Big deal. Mind over matter. The race started at 8am. It rained off and on during the first half of the race and then torrentially down poured the last maybe 3 miles. The type of downpour that keeps a steady stream of water coming off your visor. My shoes were soaked (my biggest fear) but at least I was almost done. Although I was thinking: Fuck this distance shit! I am going back to 5k land!!

The aid stations were physically present and had great choices. I saw powerades, gu's etc BUT they weren't set up. The first aid station had an 8 pack of drinks that appeared still in the plastic rings. Not opened, not poured, not handed out. Two kids were manning it and clearly missed the memo. That stressed me out. Only one aid station I passed ever handed me a drink and it was fricken water in a styrofoam cup. Now clearly, a bad cup choice. If you've ever tried to grab a styrofoam cup at a fast speed you know it's futile. My fingers went through it. So no drinkie drink for this race. errr! 

I set my garmin to beep at the half mile. For the first 7 or so miles they were coming in at 3:19ish (6:38) pace. Then the course got pretty hilly. Long slow inclines that lasted maybe 400 meters or so. The type where you feel your lower abs working. I added time there. Then around mile 10 I started to get pissy. It was raining. I had to scream at 2 cops for directions at intersections. I think I swore at a volunteer when I asked which way and she shrugged her shoulders. They had spray painted directional signs but I had gone on the wrong side of a fat median once and didn't know where to go next. I yelled at the volunteer as I approached the unmarked median, to no avail. I was running solo so maybe they weren't on their game yet. But come on. It's your damn job!

The last 3 miles were shit. Barely sub 6:55. But mama didn't raise no fool. I knew I banked time early on and could get away with that. I truly only wanted a 1:29:59. 

The course itself was in Walnut Creek. A huge neighborhood. I used to live there 4 years ago. So I saw all my old friends. That had to have been the best part. I LOVE giving shout outs and high 5's. But I forced myself to shut up after way too many wooo-hooo's. I think I yelled some expletive to my friend John around mile 5 so clearly I was losing it. I had to buckle down. Also, Joey Anderson was out despite a nasty cold and took his age group. John, took his age group and had an, ummm 6 minute pr from our last Half a few weeks ago. Someone better check his blood, hehe. Just kidding. LOL! My walnut creek BFF Laura Nichols also placed in her age group. It was great to see everyone!!! This is why I love racing.

Ok so pics and results. Check out the overall female and male names. HA. I was beat by a Megan Butthead with a 1:25. NICE! The dude did a 1:11. I can't gloat without saying that this course was not certified. I asked around afterwards to garmin-ites and got anywhere from 13 to 13.1. My garmin showed 12.97. I don't have enough half experience to know if this is a tangent issue or just poor measuring. The RD swore she measured 10x and got 13.1 every time she checked it again this morning 13.3. Who knows. 
 ps. elevation is clearly BS!!!

John, Greg and me right after the race
Winner winner chicken dinna!!

The Laura's!!

Ya baby. I tried to keep the obnoxiousness to a minimum
That's what I'm talking about!! Go Joey!!

Holla!! John is a great example of training hard and reaping the benefits.

Although he looks way too fresh post half!

The lunch my mom made me when I got home!! Thanks Ma!

My next race is the Wrightsville Beach Half. Countdown is on!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Phew, I'm still fast...

but blind...and joking, a little...

As my FB friends know I just landed in Raleigh 11 hrs ago after spending a week in Vail, CO at elevations of 9000-11,500 feet. Skiing all day and running at night. Sometimes swimming a little. I am tired. I slept 6 hrs last night. But whatever, I'm tough. Or I'll just keep saying that.

So the whole blood doping thing got me excited. Let me preface by saying I haven't really read up on it and from what I'm hearing a week won't  make a difference. But hell, why not see what happens.

My goal was to put very little effort and see how fast I could cruise on a pretty hilly course. I can tell from my breathing that it was easier than the 8:30 paces I was doing in the mountains. I was so happy to run on cement (for once) and not snowy potholes.

I ran 8 miles. My avg pace was 6:46 which happens to be my half pace. I have a Half this Saturday. So it was good to see I could pull out sub 7's with a dead body, no sleep, hills, too much airport macaroni grill, but alas my friend espresso and a few extra red blood cells.

Who knows if a week helped but I have never done 8 in that area at sub 7 with half-ass effort.

So good run I guess. Cheers to not being a jogger...Holla!